What I Learned In Marriage
Disclaimer: I may not be the right person to discuss this and I may not be a perfect husband nor a perfect father but I am writing this based on my experience. I still have a long way to go and many more years to call myself an expert on this field but this is only based on what i learned as of the day this was written.
1. Marriage works well when both husband and wife are exerting efforts to make the marriage work. It is not a one person thing. No matter how good a person if his partner is not cooperating in making efforts to make the marriage work or improve, marriage will fail.
2. Forget the negatives from the past. Each of us have our own past and in my opinion it will help for both to let go of anything that happened in the past may it be with your partner or not.
3. Talk to your partner. This is one of the most important thing to do as a couple. By talking, each of you will how how each other feel about certain things or what you or your partner needs. Settle some differences by talking it out. Never end a day without resolving any issues with your husband.
4. Sex. You must be expecting I’d bring this up but yeah it is damn important. It is a physical way of communicating with your partner. The more you’ll have sex, the better. I understand there are times you just had a rough day and you just want to sleep. Be sure to talk to your partner about it. Sex is not just about the deed in the bed. It starts when you are having a conversation with your partner while watching tv or after eating meal. Make sure you compliment your partner with even little things he/she has done. Having good conversation can be a good turn on and will spice up your sex life in the process. Mix it up. Explore, if you know what i mean. Learn to pleasure your partner. Sex is a give and take process so make sure you know what to do. You might not be a sexual person but what if your partner is? You must little by little learn to pleasure him/her. Ask him/her what he/she wants. Sex is experienced better when you talk to your partner and make sure you know what he/she wants.
5. Patience. This will be a very helpful weapon in dealing with everyday problems in a marriage life. You and I may not have the same problems but I am very sure it is the same patience that will help or even resolve some problems. Sometimes when dealing with our partner we need a lot of patience. There are some qualities of your partner that might have manifested when you are already together as married couple but not before you first met each other.
6. Long distance is a relationship killer. Obviously, this hasn’t happened to me but i don’t want to say it will not happen to me. It is really difficult for both in the relationship whether married or not to keep up and still be together after years of being apart. It takes trust and more of it coupled with constant communication to pull off a long distance relationship. Make sure to schedule a skype conversation (or anything similar) with your partner and to see to it that every conversation is not boring, plan ahead the topics that you will be talking about so you will not get lost of words and topic to talk to. When doing skype conversation daily, this may be useful because it will look like you have nothing to talk to anymore.
7. “A family that prays together, stays together”. So cliché but it’s true I will not dig deeper into this because I know you can explain better than me when it comes to this topic.
For me, it all really comes down to few things. Love, patience and lots of patience. Learn to admit that you are wrong listen to what your partner has to say. Communication should be open at all times.
As I am still learning as my marriage life is moving forward, I may be able to add more in the future. As of my current state in my married life, i can say that those were most of the things I can remember at the back of my mind that may help others who are just getting into marriage.
I am no marriage counselor nor any expert on this. I am just stating those from my own personal experiences and what I learned along the way. Life is so interesting that each one of us has our path the we are going through even though our goal is kinda almost the same.
Stay in love, hope this helps and always remember. In life, there is no book or rules you have to follow and that’s what makes it exciting. Be adventurous literally or figuratively, for life is larger than us and we don’t want to spend the rest of our lives mastering life. Just go with the flow and enjoy.